Just the Two of Us
by Nelowl
Summary: Rodney and Carson are trapped on a strange planet. Rodney has a broken leg. What more can go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

**The idea for this came from and interview I read where Paul McGillion said he wouldl like to do an episode where he and Rodney were trapped somewhere and hopefully there would be lots of witty repartee between them. Well, I'm not sure I can manage the witty repartee, but I can manage the rest.**

**Disclaimers: **I don't own any of the _Stargate Atlantis_ characters, but I hope I've given them a fair representation in this story.

**Characters: **This will involve all the main characters from _Stargate Atlantis_, but if you read my last fanfic, you'll probably guess that Carson will have quite a major role to play in this.

**Spoilers:** As yet, I'm not sure if there will be any references to actual episodes. If there are, I'll warn you in advance.

_**Enjoy!**_

OoOoO

Carson sighed as he put together the medical supplies he would need. He sometimes wondered if Colonel Sheppard and Dr McKay tossed a coin to see whose turn it would be to get injured on this mission. One or other of them seemed to end up spending time in his Infirmary on a worryingly regular basis.

Carson wasn't sure who was worse. John had an almost pathological hatred of being stuck in the Infirmary and did everything possible to get out of it as soon as he could. While he was there, he made everyone's life as miserable as possible so they would let him out.

Rodney, on the other hand, seemed to be drawn to the Infirmary by his rampant hypochondria. The least, insignificant symptom sent him scurrying to seek medical attention. And once he got there, he would taunt the medical staff about their lack of scientific knowledge, while showing a surprising medical knowledge himself.

This time, Carson's patient was Rodney. The team had been on an information gathering mission to M5Y – 634 when Rodney had managed to slip and fall down a cliff. When John had radioed in, he said he was reluctant to move Rodney until he had been given medical attention. That was why Carson was preparing to go through the dreaded monster of a Stargate yet again.

He heard footsteps approaching, and looked up at the slim figure of Elizabeth Weir.

"Are you ready to go, Carson?" she asked, smiling at her Chief Medical Officer.

"Aye, Elizabeth," he replied. "Ready to go and sort out Rodney yet again."

She smiled in response. "I sometimes think we should have had a questionnaire about how accident-prone expedition members were, before we allowed anyone to come here."

"Aye," Carson agreed, with a smile. "Maybe as part of the medical questionnaire people had to fill in. 'How many times have you visited your doctor due to accidental injury or unknown viral infection in the last 5 years?'. That would have done it."

"Yes," Elizabeth replied. "Anyone who answered more than 500 times would be barred."

"So could we do without Rodney and Colonel Sheppard, then?" Carson asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Probably not," Elizabeth said, a touch ruefully. "But don't tell them I said that. Their egos are inflated enough as it is."

"Your secret's safe with me," Carson said, giving her a wink on the way passed.

"Be careful Carson, and bring Rodney home safely," she said, touching his arm as he passed her.

"Don't worry Elizabeth, I'll bring him home."

OoOoO

John was waiting for him when he arrived through the Stargate. Ronon also materialised out of the undergrowth, and silently took his medical supplies from him.

"Thank you, Ronon," Carson said, almost absent-mindedly. "So where has Rodney found trouble this time?"

"He's about a mile or so away," John replied. "We were just scouting around, looking for some signs of ancient civilizations, or something that would indicate this planet had been inhabited by something other than insects." Just as he said that, John slapped his neck, killing one of the mosquito-like insects that seemed to swarm around on the planet.

"And then he just simply disappeared. It was the silence we noticed first," John said, giving Carson an ironic grin. "But, it didn't last for long, and soon Rodney was squealing for help."

"Did anyone check him out?" Carson asked.

"Yes," John confirmed. "Teyla and I went down and checked him out. Ronon stood guard. His leg is busted, though his voice is still working as well as ever."

Carson laughed. "Aye," he replied. "It takes a lot to keep Rodney quiet. Still, it's probably a good sign. If he had been quiet, it could have meant that his body had gone into shock, and then he could be in more trouble."

"His leg is lying at a very strange angle," John continued. "So we didn't want to move him without you having a look at him first. We'd never hear the end of it, if Rodney ended up with a limp because of us."

Ronon snorted. "I offered to pull it straight for him, but he made a whimpering sound. So I guessed he meant no."

"Do you like tormenting Rodney, or does it just come naturally?" Carson asked the Satedan. The big man replied with a wide grin.

They trudged on further eventually coming to a sharp drop. At the bottom, Rodney was lying awkwardly whilst Teyla was trying to make him as comfortable as she good.

"Ah, at last," Rodney said, looking up and seeing Carson. "You've arrived. Well, come down here and do your voodoo magic. I'm sure you can come up with something more imaginative than the man-mountain there."

Carson and Ronon exchanged amused glances.

"I'll do my best, Rodney," Carson said, as he made his way, gingerly, down the cliff.

Just as Carson reached the bottom, John's radio started transmitting. Carson didn't really pay any attention to it. He was busy examining Rodney. He found filtering out all sound when he was examining Rodney was the most effective means to doing a thorough job. Otherwise, he got distracted by his friend's constant comments.

"Carson!" Hearing his name, the doctor tuned in to John's voice.

"Yes, Colonel," he replied.

"That was Atlantis. They need us to go and rescue Lorne and his team, again!"

Carson turned to Teyla and smiled. The rivalry between Sheppard and Lorne was well known and they were both keeping a running tally of how often they'd had to rescue each other.

"Will you and Rodney be okay for about half an hour? Elizabeth said she'd send something through to help you get Rodney back, but they aren't free just yet."

"No problem," Carson replied. "It'll take me that long to stabilise Rodney's leg."

"That's alright for you to say," Rodney retorted. "You're not the one lying here in agony with your leg twisted at a very strange angle. Even my cat can't get her leg to twist like that." He looked mournfully down at his leg.

"Just don't faint, Rodney," John called down to him.

"I don't faint," Rodney replied quickly. "I might fade slightly from the excruciating pain I'm in, but I won't faint."

"I've given you something for the pain, Rodney," Carson said gently. "It should ease soon."

"You did?" Rodney said, a note of amazement in his voice. "When?"

"Just now," Carson responded, smiling. "When you were shouting at Colonel Sheppard."

"Oh, well, then," Rodney replied. "I suppose I'll manage to bear the pain, heroically, until help can be sent."

Ronon snorted, and John threw an amused glance in his direction.

"Glad to hear it, Rodney," John said. "Good luck, Doc."

With that, John, Ronon and Teyla left, leaving Carson to listen to Rodney explaining in great detail, how he didn't actually fall down the cliff – it was more of a controlled slide – that just got slightly out of control!


	2. Nice Beastie

_**Thanks for all the reviews. Carson and Rodney are fun to write – hopefully you'll enjoy reading it too!**_

OoOoO

As soon as the others left, whilst Rodney was still explaining how his accident had happened, Carson got to work on Rodney's leg. It was obvious that he had managed to break the tibia and fibula. Thankfully, it was not an open fracture, and so the risk of infection or further complications were less.

"Okay, Rodney," Carson said, breaking into Rodney's explanation of where he lost control. "I'm going to straighten your leg. I've injected some anaesthetic into the area to help reduce the pain, but it's still going to hurt."

"Thanks for that Carson," Rodney replied. "Don't you have anything in your voodoo bag of tricks to get rid of the pain completely?"

"Well," Carson said thoughtfully. "I could knock you out completely, but I need you conscious to check for circulation and possible nerve damage."

"Okay," Rodney said, with an air of resignation. "Do your worst."

Carson gently took Rodney's leg and straightened it out. Rodney yelped in pain, but then tried to contain his exclamations. Carson glanced up and to check on his friend's reaction to the pain and he noticed that Rodney's jaw was clenched.

Once he got the leg straight, Carson gently put a plastic splint on it to stabilise it. He then raised the leg slightly on a pillow he had brought from the Infirmary.

Carson then tested the pulse on Rodney's leg to make sure that the blood supply had not been compromised by the injury.

"Okay, Rodney," Carson spoke again. "I'm going to test for nerve damage. Let me know if you can feel this."

"Ouch!" Rodney said. "Yes, I can most certainly feel that. What is it? Are you branching out into acupuncture now? Or do you just like using me as a pin-cushion?"

"And can you feel it here?" Carson continued, ignoring Rodney's remarks out of long practice.

"Yes, I can," Rodney said, through gritted teeth.

"Good," Carson said, sitting back on his heels. "It's a nasty break, but not as bad as it could be. Here are some painkillers. They should kick in soon, and I'll put some ice on it. You've got some nasty bruising and swelling started there already, and it's as well to get it under control straight away."

Rodney just nodded. Carson glanced at his unusually quiet friend. He noticed the slightly grey pallor to his face.

"Is there anywhere else that hurts, Rodney?" he asked gently. As he spoke, he started to gently check over the rest of Rodney's body. Rodney let out a yelp when Carson reached his ribs. Carson just gave the scientist a look, and continued his examination.

"Well, lad," he said. "I think you've been lucky. Aside from your broken leg, there are just cuts and bruises. You may have cracked a couple of ribs, but you've not broken them."

"Well, I don't exactly feel lucky," Rodney replied. "And just where is that rescue team Sheppard promised us? I'm sure half an hour must be up by now."

Carson glanced at his watch. He had lost track of time while working on Rodney, but the other man was correct. Almost an hour had passed since the others had left. The rescue team should have been there by now.

"Why don't I just go up to the top, there, and take a wee look," Carson said, getting to his feet. Rodney reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Don't leave me alone," he said, his voice shaky. "What if some wild creature comes and decides I look like lunch?"

"You'll just have to look as unappetizing as possible, then, won't you," Carson said soothingly. "I'll only be gone for a few minutes, and I'll not go out of eyesight." He patted Rodney's hand soothingly, and the scientist eased the grip he had on his friend's arm.

"If you see them," Rodney said, trying to hide the fact he was getting anxious. "Tell them to hurry up. I'm needed back on Atlantis, not stuck here in the middle of nowhere."

"Don't worry, Rodney," Carson replied, a note of irony in his voice. "I'm sure they're all missing you already."

"Thank you," Rodney replied, missing the irony completely.

Carson smiled to himself as he climbed up the cliff.

OoOoO

"What do you mean; you can't get a lock on the address?" Elizabeth asked more sharply than she meant too.

"I don't know," came the hesitant reply. "It worked perfectly when Colonel Sheppard and the others went through before, and also when Dr Beckett went through about an hour ago, but now I can't get a lock on it."

"Is the 'Gate still there?" Elizabeth asked, remembering what had happened to the Taranians' Stargate.

"As far as I can tell, it's just not responding. I've never seen anything like this before," was the reply.

Elizabeth looked round, forgetting for a moment that Rodney wasn't there. She had almost been expecting him to come up with some solution to the problem. But, of course, he was stuck on some strange planet with a broken leg. The only consolation was that Carson was there with him. Though Carson might not have agreed with that assessment.

"Dr Zelenka," she said into her commlink.

"Yes, Dr Weir," came the prompt reply.

"Please could you join me in the Gate Room?"

OoOoO

At that moment, Carson most certainly did not agree with Elizabeth's assessment. He wished he was anywhere but on a strange planet with Rodney. The climb up the cliff face had been more difficult than the journey down. It wasn't helped by Rodney's constant stream of advice from below.

"No," he said. "Move your foot to the left. No your right foot! That's it."

Carson took a deep breath and counted to ten. Climbing a cliff face and loosing your temper didn't go together very well.

"Now, move your hand to your right," came the voice from below. "And then pull yourself up."

Much to Carson's relief, the last instructions had actually helped, and he was able to scramble over the top of the cliff.

"See," Rodney said from below. "I told you, you could do it."

Carson muttered several curses under his breath, then breathed an apology to his mother for his language.

"Well, Carson, can you see anything?" Rodney's voice continued.

Carson looked over towards the Stargate. You could actually see it from where he was as the terrain between the cliff and the 'Gate was fairly flat. Unfortunately, there were no comforting figures approaching with the assistance they required.

"No," Carson called back down to Rodney. "I'm afraid I can't see anything. The radio appears to be dead too," he continued, looking down at the radio he was carrying in his belt.

"Why haven't they sent anyone to help us?" Rodney asked, sharply.

"I don't know, Rodney, I'm a doctor not a bloody psychic," Carson said more sharply than he intended.

"No need to get snarky," Rodney said, sounding slightly hurt.

"Sorry, lad," Carson said. "I just don't . . . . ."

What he was about to say was cut off as he turned toward Rodney and saw that between him and the cliff edge was a rather ferocious looking beast. It looked a bit like a goat, but Carson had never seen a goat with shark-like teeth and claws on its feet.

"Nice beastie," he said, trying to sound soothing.

"Carson?" Rodney's voice carried up from the bottom of the cliff face. "What were you saying?"

The animal turned its head towards Rodney's voice. Carson took the opportunity to move and started towards the cliff. He hoped if he could get over the edge, the creature might find it difficult to follow.

As he lunged towards the cliff, the creature's head snapped back towards him. It snarled, like a lion, and then lunged at Carson, its teeth almost shining in the sun. The cruel parody of a grin changed as it opened its powerful jaws, and then snapped them shut on Carson's arm. He let out a yell of protest and of pain, which startled the animal enough for it to let go of his arm.

Carson fell backwards towards the cliff, and as the creature started to follow him, he found himself falling over the edge, his body uncontrolled and moving faster than he would have chosen.

"Carson!" Rodney's voice, laced with panic, cried out.

Rodney watched in horror as his friend's body tumbled down the cliff, landing a few feet away from him. Carson lay on his back, his eyes closed, and blood pouring from his arm. Rodney looked up, and a beast out of his worst nightmares stared back at him, blood dripping from its fangs.

He turned back to his friend. "Carson?" he said, almost as a whimper.


	3. Problems But No Answers

Elizabeth stood behind Zelenka trying to hide her impatience. He was running various diagnostics on the Stargate. He would mutter to himself every so often in Czech and then try something else. But nothing seemed to be working.

Eventually he turned to Elizabeth. "I can find nothing wrong," he admitted, sounding defeated.

"But there must be something," Elizabeth said more sharply than she meant to.

"I can find nothing at our end," Radek reiterated. "The problem must be at their end." He looked at her with a slightly baleful expression on his face.

Elizabeth nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder in apology for her earlier sharpness.

Before they could continue their conversation, a voice cut through their thoughts.

"Off world activation!"

Elizabeth whirled round. "It's Colonel Sheppard's IDC," the 'Gate technician answered Elizabeth's question before she could ask it.

John was first through the Stargate, supporting one of Lorne's team. Lorne, himself, was leaning heavily on Ronon, and Teyla was helping a third member of the team. Only one of the returning team was able to walk through the Stargate unaided.

Elizabeth rushed down to meet them. "What happened?" she asked Lorne.

"We were ambushed," he said, through gritted teeth. "When we arrived, there was no indication that there was anyone else on the planet. The Lifesigsn Indicator didn't show anyone. But suddenly, out of nowhere, we were under fire."

The medical staff appeared out of nowhere. They started to treat the injuries of the team, and to take them to the Infirmary.

Now relieved of their burden, John's team gathered round Elizabeth.

"Where are Rodney and Carson?" John asked. "Is he still screaming like a girl?"

"We haven't been able to get to them," Elizabeth admitted.

John's expression turned from a smile to a frown in a heartbeat. "What do you mean? Is there some sort of obstruction on the planet?"

"No," Elizabeth replied. "We can't even get to the planet. We can't dial the 'Gate."

"And there's no way we can get there by Puddle Jumper," John said, his frown deepening. "It's far too far away, even the Daedalus would take a week to get there."

"And there not due here for another week," Ronon pointed out.

"We cannot just leave them there," Teyla said, her concern showing on her face.

"I want suggestions," Elizabeth said. "I need options. In the meantime, Radek, continue working on the Stargate!"

The Czech scientist muttered something, and continued to work on the computer he was carrying.

"There must be something we can do," John said to Ronon and Teyla.

"McKay's usually the one with the ideas," Ronon pointed out.

"Then we need to think like McKay to get both Carson and Rodney out of there,"

"Do we have to?" Ronon asked, a look of mock horror on his face.

OoOoO

"Carson," Rodney said again, trying to pull himself closer to his friend. He managed to reach his shoulder, and gave it a shake.

Carson's eyes flew open, looking very blue against his pale skin. A look of sheer panic was in his eyes. He jumped to his feet, and looked around, running on pure adrenaline.

"Where's that bloody goat?" he asked.

"Up there," Rodney replied.

Carson looked up, and suddenly wished he hadn't. Everything started to spin, as the effects of the bite and his fall started to kick in. He reached out and steadied himself against the cliff, and then slowly sank to the ground.

"This is not good," he said to Rodney.

"You're telling me it's not good," Rodney replied, his voice getting higher in his concern. "First I fa . . . slide down the cliff, and when you come to rescue me, you end up getting bitten by the goat from hell, and then do a nosedive off the cliff. You weren't very graceful, I might add."

"I try to remember that the next time I'm attacked by a goat with teeth like razors," Carson replied ironically.

"Well, what are we going to do about it now?" Rodney asked, his voice still sharp.

"We'll take it one step at a time," Carson said, gritting his teeth against the nausea he was feeling. "First I want to clean the wound I've got so it doesn't get infected."

"That's right, think of yourself, when here I am in great pain, a sitting duck to any marauding beasts, and all you can suggest is sorting your wound."

"Rodney," Carson said, in his best "soothing Rodney" voice. "I'm not going to be much use helping you if I end up with a fever because this bite gets infected, now am I?"

"I suppose not," Rodney conceded.

If the truth be told, he was worried. When Carson had fallen down the cliff, his heart had all but stopped with fear. Fear for his friend, fear for where that would leave him. He had hidden his relief that Carson wasn't seriously hurt behind sharp words and his usual manner, but his eyes betrayed him.

Carson knew him well enough to have seen that fear, and so had not taken offence at his words. He was frightened too. Although he was hiding it from Rodney, he had not come out of his fall without injury. He was certain that a couple of his ribs were broken, and he had taken a nasty blow to his head that made standing up a bad idea at present. In addition, the bite to his arm was a nasty one, and there was no telling what bacteria lurked in the gaping mouth of that beast.

As if drawn by his thoughts, the goat-like creature looked over the edge of the cliff.

"Shoo," Rodney said, trying to scare it away.

"Shoo?" Carson said, trying not to laugh. "You think that is going to get rid of that beast."

"It seems to be working," Rodney said, a note of smug satisfaction in his voice.

Carson glanced up and noticed that, indeed, the goat-like creature had moved away, and from the sounds they could hear, seemed to be running away from them.

"I never realised you were quite so ferocious, Rodney," Carson said, a laugh in his voice.

"How do you think I get the science teams to do what I tell them?" Rodney replied.

"Now, will you help me with my arm?" Carson said, rummaging through his medical supplies. "Don't worry," he added quickly, as Rodney started to turn a pale shade of green. "I won't ask you to do any of the yucky bits."

"'Yucky' is that a medical term?" Rodney asked.

"Yes," Carson replied smoothly. "It's in the Beckett Dictionary of Well-Kent Medical Expressions."

Carson managed to clean out the wound on his arm, without too much help from Rodney. The problem was the reaching over to get the supplies and then applying them to his arm was causing a sharp pain in his side each time he moved. He tried to hide this from Rodney as he knew his friend's paranoia would kick in big time if he knew Carson was more injured than he was letting on.

By the time the wound was clean, Carson was sweating from the exertion and the pain his actions had caused him.

"Carson," Rodney said sharply. "Are you okay? You look rather pale."

"I'm fine, Rodney," he replied quickly. "Now could you hold the end of the bandage, so that I can wrap it round my arm?" he added, quickly changing the subject.

Soon Carson's arm was tightly bandaged. And he had swallowed a couple of painkillers too. His head still felt as if it was somewhere half way down the cliff, but a least the nausea seemed to have subsided.

"Now what do we do?" Rodney asked, shifting slightly like an impatient child.

"We wait," Carson said. "I don't think either of us is in any fit state to climb that cliff, and unless there is another way out of here, I think we need to wait until we're rescued."

"But when will that be?" Rodney asked, petulance entering his voice. "The promise of half-an-hour is long since passed. Do you think something terrible has happened on Atlantis?"

"That's what I like about you, Rodney," Carson replied. "You always look on the bright side of things."

"Why else would they leave us here?" Rodney continued. "They need us, well, me at any rate. They wouldn't just leave us here for no reason."

"I'm sure they've got a very good reason," Carson countered.

"Name one!" Rodney challenged.

"Problems with the 'Gate, crisis off world, nobody available to come here, bad weather conditions endangering Atlantis. There are plenty of perfectly good reasons for the delay."

"And all perfectly good reasons why I should be there, and not stuck here," Rodney said.

"Well, then, the problem can't be too serious, or they'd be here to get you so that you could solve the problem," Carson turned Rodney's argument on its head.

"That's true," Rodney said smugly, not noticing the fact that Carson's tongue had been firmly in his check as he spoke.

Carson hide his smile, and crawled over to Rodney to check his splint. Just as he reached him, the scientist tensed up.

"Did you hear that?" he asked Carson.

"What?" the doctor replied.

"That . . ." Rodney answered, a note of fear in his voice.


	4. The Flood

_**Thanks for all the Reviews, it has been really encouraging. There is a spoiler warning in this one for "Grace Under Pressure" – Enjoy!**_

OoOoO

John thumped his fist down on the table, making the papers on it jump. Ronon looked at him, his eyebrow raised.

"There must be some way to get there," John said, his frustration also evident in his voice.

"We just need to keep looking for a Stargate near the planet," Teyla said, retaining her calm. Their plan was to find a Stargate as close to the planet as possible, and use the Puddle Jumper to get them actually on to the planet.

"But that is like trying to find a needle in a haystack," John said. "We don't even know where half these addresses are, or if there is still a viable 'Gate there."

"We just need to keep looking," Teyla said persistently.

"I think I have something," Radek said from the other side of the table. "This Stargate is working correctly," he said pointing to one of the options on the list they had. "We went to that planet when we searching for minerals. It is just within reach of the Puddle Jumper."

"Radek, I could almost kiss you," John said, earning himself a rather startled look from the Czech scientist. "But don't worry I won't."

"All we need to do now is persuade Dr Weir to let us use the Stargate," Ronon pointed out. After the problems in retrieving Carson and Rodney, Elizabeth had stopped all 'Gate traffic until they found out what the problem was.

"I will inform her of what we have found," Radek said. "And I will assure her that there is nothing wrong with the Stargate at this end."

"Way to go, Radek," said John, slapping the other man on the back.

"Rodney and Carson are my friends, too," the Czech said with a quiet dignity. "I will do everything I can to help get them safely off that planet."

"Okay, kids," John said, turning to Ronon and Teyla. "Let's go and see if we can rescue Carson before Rodney has driven him to insanity."

OoOoO

The two doctors sat and listened. The noise seemed to get closer.

"It sounds like rushing water," Carson said, a worried frown on his face.

"But we're no where near water," Rodney said. "We checked out the whole area when we got here."

"Well, what's that rushing towards us, if it's not water?" Carson said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice, as he pointed towards a torrent of water that seemed determined to head their way.

"Oh, crap!" Rodney said succinctly.

Carson looked around frantically; trying to see somewhere they could escape the fast approaching flood. There was a small ledge on the cliff, the one from which Rodney had started his out-of-control, controlled slide.

"Rodney," Carson said to his friend. "If I help you, do you think you could manage to make it to that ledge?"

Before Carson had finished, Rodney was pushing himself up to his feet, grabbing his backpack as he did so. Carson put his arm under Rodney's arm and supported his body.

"Try not to put too much weight on your bad leg," Carson said, knowing that there would inevitably be further damage to Rodney's broken leg, whatever they did. He just wanted to keep it to a minimum.

The water was now almost upon them. The base of the cliff was in a narrow valley and the water was gathering pace as it was forced through the narrow gully that formed the entrance to the valley. There were already branches and large rocks in the water. Carson was concerned if they didn't get above the water line before it hit them, they could both be crushed against the cliff.

With a lot of determination, not much grace, and a huge dollop of pain, they made their way up to the ledge. It was just big enough to hold them both, if they sat sideways on it, curling their legs up so that they weren't dangling over the side. Rodney had to lie out on the ledge, to protect his leg. Carson found he could just balance on the edge, without falling over, provided he curled up.

The climb up had exhausted them both, and they lay slumped on the ledge for several minutes before either of them could move. Eventually, Carson managed to rouse himself, and checked Rodney over. His leg didn't seem to have sustained too much damage in the climb. The splint was still in place and Carson tightened it up, to give Rodney more support. The scientist had several more cuts from the climb, and Carson suspected that Rodney would also be covered in bruises by the time the sun rose again.

By the time he had finished his examination, Carson was in serious pain himself. His damaged ribs were making their presence felt, and his head felt as if someone was playing the drums on it. He slumped down, trying not to vomit, that was all they needed on their narrow ledge. He was exhausted, in pain, and to make matters worse, they hadn't been able to rescue his medical supplies in the frantic rush to safety. They were both okay at the moment, but the way this planet seemed to be throwing problems at them, there was no telling what they might need in the future, before rescue arrived. Carson had to believe that rescue would arrive.

"Carson," Rodney said, noting his friend's pale face. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, Rodney," Carson said. "I'm just worried that we've lost the medical supplies."

"Your arms bleeding," Rodney pointed out. With all the other problems he was facing, Carson hadn't noticed that. The exertion of scrambling up the cliff face had opened up the wound again. That was all he needed.

Just at that moment, he was distracted from his physical discomfort by the arrival of the water. It started to lash against the cliffs, pounding into the rock below them, turning white with the impact. The spray soon had both men soaked to the skin. Carson could feel his skin tingle from the impact of the water.

The sound was incredible. It sounded as if they were in the middle of a wind tunnel, as the water hit the cliff, and threw rocks and branches against the cliff. The water rose alarmingly as it reached them. Before long, it was lapping against the ledge, almost dragging the two men off it as it ebbed and flowed. The both clung to some roots that protruding out from the ledge.

It seemed as lifetime later that the realised the rush of water had stopped. Carson looked up first, and noticed that although the water still lapped around the ledge, it had stopped surging, and was no longer rising.

"Rodney," he said, gently touching the scientist's arm. "I think we've made it through this."

Rodney looked up, almost afraid to believe what Carson had said. The water wasn't exactly calm but it was no longer trying to pull them off the ledge. They were both completely soaked, and Rodney started to shiver. Carson reached into the backpack and pulled out a survival blanket. He wrapped it round Rodney. He then looked further and found some power bars. He handed one to Rodney and took one himself.

"We need to eat, to keep our energy levels up," he said to the scientist.

"Well," Rodney responded. "These power bars aren't going to last us very long, and since our friends at Atlantis have decided not to rescue us, we need to do something ourselves."

"Well," Carson replied. "Unless you have a boat in that backpack of yours, I think we could be in trouble."

"Sorry, I left my boat at home today," Rodney replied, his sardonic humour still intact.

"Well, in that case," Carson responded. "We'll just have to hope that Colonel Sheppard manages to come up with a plan to rescue us."

"But I'm the ideas man," Rodney said, rather pitifully. "And at the moment I seem to be right out of them."

"Maybe Radek will come up with something?" Carson said soothingly.

"Radek, come up with an idea?" Rodney snorted.

"Don't be too quick to judge, Rodney," Carson said, admonishingly. "Remember who rescued you when your Puddle Jumper sank."

"You did have to bring that one up," Rodney said.

"Yes," Carson said, with a hint of a grin. "I did."

"Well, I have to say, Sam Carter was a much more interesting companion," Rodney retorted.

"But she was just a figment of your imagination," Carson reminded him.

"Exactly," Rodney said, then pulling the blanket round him, curled up and went to sleep.

Carson just shook his head, and settled himself to watch over his sleeping friend.


	5. Boomerang

_**Well – I'm an equal-opportunities whumper – so I thought I'd spread some pain around. Enjoy!**_

OoOoO

Carson didn't get much sleep that night. His ribs felt as if someone was attacking them with a chisel, and he felt permanently nauseous. Rodney was stretched out on the ledge, his broken leg supported by the backpack. He was snoring gently. Strangely, Carson didn't mind the noise. It was almost comforting; a sign that he was not alone in this dark wilderness.

Two moons rose in the night sky, twin disks of light. In the now calm water, their reflections gave a serene beauty to the night. Carson sighed. There was something almost romantic about the sight before him. Well, it would be if there wasn't Rodney's snoring in the background. The lack of a female companion, and the fact that he was in agony from his ribs, both didn't help with the romantic feeling, but for just a moment, Carson closed his eyes and let his imagination take him to a much nicer place.

"Carson," Rodney's voice woke him from his sleep. "You were just about to fall off the ledge and into the water."

Carson started awake. He must have drifted off to sleep, when his day-dreaming of romance had taken over.

"Sorry, Rodney," he said. "How's your leg feeling today?"

"It feels like it's broken, and has been dragged up a cliff face and slept on a narrow ledge," Rodney said, with considerable vehemence. "I was thinking," he continued.

"Heaven help us," Carson muttered. Rodney chose to ignore him.

"We're not going to be rescued, are we?" Rodney asked. "So, as usual, we have to help ourselves. You never can rely on those military types to come up with the answers. They're fine is someone is pointing a gun at you, but their useless at basic problem solving. Well, anyway," Rodney continued, without seeming to take a breath. "We need to rescue ourselves. If we rig up some sort of pulley system, I think you could pull me up to the top of the cliff. We can then make our way to the Stargate, and go home."

"What if the Stargate isn't working?" Carson asked.

"What makes you think it isn't?" Rodney said. "We've used it twice to get here without any problems."

"It's just I was thinking last night," Carson responded. "I can't think of any other reason why they haven't come back for us yet."

"It could be a problem at Atlantis' end," Rodney said.

"I know," Carson answered. "But I was trying not to think about that."

"Well, anyway," Rodney continued with his plan . "You need to climb up there and get some sort of pulley built."

Carson groaned inwardly. He wasn't sure if he could climb up the cliff with the state of his ribs, and even if he did, the thought of pulling Rodney up was enough to make him feel faint. And it wasn't manly hunger that was causing it. That did, however, make him realise how hungry he actually was.

"We'll need to eat something too," Carson added. "There is no way we'll manage to get to the 'Gate in the state that we're in."

"Well, what do you suggest," Rodney asked. "Do you have your magic voodoo wand with you to create food out of thin air?"

"I was thinking of a more old-fashioned method," Carson responded, trying to ignore the sarcasm. "The beast that attacked me must feed on something. With teeth like that, it's no herbivore."

"Yes," Rodney admitted. "That is a logical assumption to make, but then this planet doesn't seem to follow logic."

"What do you mean?" Carson asked.

"We arrived here, no life signs, nothing, zip. We were here for 20 hours before we called you, and we didn't see any animals at all, certainly not ferocious goats. We checked the water tables, seas, oceans and all that before we came here. There just shouldn't have been water flooding the valley. Nothing makes sense."

"How does that helps us?" Carson asked.

"It doesn't," Rodney replied. "But just remember, things here might not be logical."

"Well, we still need to eat," Carson replied. "And we might just find some animals we can catch up on the cliff."

"And did you learn to kill, skin and cook animals in your croft back in Bonnie Scotland?" Rodney asked.

"Rodney," Carson said, slowly and emphatically. "I've lived most of my life in Edinburgh. Edinburgh, in case you didn't know, is a city. A big city. It was a city before anyone other than the indigenous people knew Canada existed. It is a city full of culture, and history. But not of crofts."

"Sorry I spoke," Rodney said, but Carson noticed the hurt in his eyes, that belied his sarcastic words.

"Look, Rodney," he said, touching his friend's arm. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. There was no need for me to do that. It's just I'm cold, and tired, and hungry. To tell you the truth, I learned to kill and skin animals on my uncle's farm. My Mum came from a farming family just north of Aberdeen."

Rodney nodded in reply.

"Well," Carson said. "I'd better get up there and find something to make a pulley."

"There's some rope here," Rodney said, drawing some heavy duty rope out of his back pack.

"You carry rope like that with you?" Carson asked, a note of incredulity in his voice. "It must weigh a ton."

"Some of us are stronger than we look," Rodney said, giving Carson a superior look.

"Aye," Carson replied, as he started to climb up the cliff. "So that will be Ronon's back pack then?"

Rodney spluttered in reply.

OoOoO

John entered the Jumper Bay to find Ronon, Teyla and Lorne already there. He nodded to them. Lorne had asked to join the mission. The rest of his team were still out of action after their recent run-in with the machine gun. And, if the truth be told, he felt slightly guilty about Drs Beckett and McKay being stranded on the planet. If his team hadn't needed Sheppard to come to their assistance, the chances were that Rodney and Carson would be on Atlantis, probably driving each other mad in the Infirmary.

"Okay, kids," Sheppard said. "Let's go play."

Ronon and Teyla exchanged an amused look. When John was in this sort of mood, just about anything could happen. Certainly, McKay would be in for a lot of teasing before the day was out, if past experience was anything to go by. When John was in this sort of mood, his favourite occupation was McKay-baiting.

Sheppard took the pilot's seat with Lorne beside him. Teyla and Ronon sat at the back.

"We're ready to go," John confirmed to the Operations Center.

"Be safe," Elizabeth's voice responded. "And bring them home safely."

"Yes, ma'am," John said with a mischievous grin.

The trip through the Stargate always seemed faster in the Puddle Jumper. John always meant to ask McKay if that was actually the case. But he decided he probably wouldn't understand the answer anyway, so there wasn't really much point in asking.

The planet on which they emerged was very beautiful. There was a tranquil expanse of blue sky, and a green terrain below.

"This looks like a nice place to explore," John said to the others.

"I think the scientist beat us to it," Lorne replied.

"Yeah," John responded. "But they might have missed some of the interesting bits."

"Like guns, and bombs?" Ronon asked from the back.

"Exactly," John replied.

Teyla shook her head. She was used to the banter by now, but sometimes she still thought these men acted more like children than adults.

They didn't linger on this planet but set course for the nearby planet on which Carson and Rodney were trapped. The flight was uneventful, so John spent the time plotting his revenge on Rodney. He wasn't sure what he was revenging, but there was always something or other, some slight, or put-down, that he needed to avenge. A smile played on his lips as they flew closer to the planet.

Lorne got up from the co-pilot's seat and went through the back part of the Jumper. He and Ronon were checking exactly where they had left Rodney and Carson. Teyla was checking through the supplies they had brought with them, just to make sure they had everything they might need.

"Okay," John said from the pilot's seat. "We're just about to enter the atmosphere. Everyone make sure you are securely strapped in. I expect Carson has enough on his hands dealing with Rodney. We don't want any more patients for him."

The approach was very smooth, as John manoeuvred the Jumper into the right orbit to get as close as possible to where the two doctors were. Then suddenly, without warning, the Jumper was momentarily brought to a standstill.

"What the . . ." John said, as suddenly the Jumper was thrown back through space in the direction it had come. It was as if the Jumper had flown into a giant net and had been boomeranged back through space.

"What will Rodney say about this?" was John's last thought as the pure black of unconsciousness claimed him.


	6. For Crying Out Loud

John came back to consciousness as he was being gently moved to the back of the Jumper. He looked up and noticed it was Ronon who was carrying him. He was surprisingly gentle for such a big man.

"Do not try to move, Colonel Sheppard," Teyla's voice came from his right side.

Ronon settled John on one of the seats, and Teyla knelt down at his side.

"You hit your head when the Puddle Jumper was stopped," Teyla said to him. "How do you feel?"

"Like someone hit me over the head with a sledgehammer," John said, groaning. "Who's flying?"

"Lorne," Ronon said succinctly.

"Its okay, Colonel," Lorne said from the pilot's seat. "There doesn't appear to be any damage to the Jumper, and it's responding normally to my commands."

"What the hell was it that hit us?" Sheppard asked.

"From the readings we've got," Lorne replied. "It's like a giant force field round the planet. It seemed to absorb our forward momentum, and then sent us back the way we came."

"Someone doesn't want us to get to the planet," Ronon said.

"I agree," Teyla added. "It is as if all methods of getting to the planet are being blocked."

"Did you try again?" John asked.

"Yes," Lorne confirmed. "I tried at various points around the planet, but the result was the same each time."

"How come you don't have a cracked head, too?" John asked, slightly crankily.

"I learned from what happened to you, Sir," Lorne replied, with a grin. "I took it nice and slow."

"I suggest we go back to Atlantis and see if there are any other options," Teyla said.

"What other options are there likely to be?" Lorne asked.

"I just hope Zelenka has come up with something else," John replied.

"We have to do something to get them off the planet," Teyla added.

"Beckett and McKay will be working at it too," Ronon pointed out.

"If they can," John said ominously.

"What do you mean?" Ronon asked.

"Well," John replied. "If we're having these problems, they might be too."

"We will find a way," Teyla said with determination.

OoOoO

Carson was half way up to the top of the cliff, while Rodney gave him vocal encouragement from the ledge. It reminded Carson of the last time he had climbed up the cliff. This time, hopefully, he would not encounter a man-eating goat at the top.

The climb seemed much longer this time. Each movement of his arms produced an agonising pain in his ribs. When he moved his legs, his back objected, where the deep bruising he suffered from his fall was making its presence felt. He had to stop regularly to allow himself to recover his breath. Unfortunately, every time he stopped Rodney would start up, telling him where to look for handhold or where to place his feet.

"Great," Carson thought to himself. "If my ribs or back don't hurt, Rodney makes sure my ears do."

But Carson still didn't want to let the scientist know that he was hurt himself. Rodney's anxiety levels were high enough without Carson adding to it.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Carson made it to the top, hauling himself over the edge. He stood up carefully, and quickly looked round the terrain, checking for any man-eating goats or other delightful wildlife that this planet might throw at them. Thankfully, he seemed to be all alone. Well, all alone except for Rodney.

"Carson, get a move on!" Rodney's voice carried up the cliff.

"Haud yer whist, Rodney, or you'll cause a rockslide," Carson said.

"Haud my what?" Rodney asked, completely confused.

"Just shut up for a wee minute," Carson translated for him.

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Rodney replied.

Carson sighed. It was going to be another long day.

"Can you see anything to use as a pulley?" Rodney asked.

Carson's eyes searched the terrain trying to find something he could use to give him leverage to pull Rodney up the cliff face. They had already fastened the rope round Rodney, making a kind of harness for him.

"Earth to Carson, are you still there?" Rodney asked.

"Aye, sorry, Rodney," Carson replied. "I think I see a rock that might just be right to use."

"Great, no rush now," Rodney said, with a touch of sarcasm. "After all. I'm not exactly going anywhere."

Carson managed to fasten the rope round the rock he found. There was a grove round the rock, almost as if it had been used for this purpose before.

"Okay, Rodney," Carson called out. "I'm going to start pulling you up. Now remember, make sure your leg is kept away from any harm, and don't use it to push yourself away from the cliff."

"Yes, Mom," Rodney said sardonically.

It was a long process, pulling Rodney up the cliff face. Neither man enjoyed it. Rodney didn't like dangling from a rope over a cliff, with only Carson's strength preventing him from falling. He wasn't good entrusting his safety to others. It made him feel vulnerable.

Carson wasn't enjoying it either. If there was anything designed to hurt his ribs more, than he couldn't think what it would be. Every breath felt as if his lungs were on fire. His hands were also agony now. He didn't have any gloves, and pulling on the rope had soon given him blisters, and rope burns. The rope slipped through his fingers as his hands became slick with blood.

Not a moment too soon, Rodney appeared over the edge of the cliff. Carson managed to fasten off the rope, and then went over and pulled Rodney onto solid ground. He then released him from the rope cradle.

"Hey, you're getting blood all over me," Rodney said, half in indignation, half in concern.

"Sorry," Carson said.

Rodney reached out and turned over Carson's hands. They were torn to shreds.

"That doesn't look very good," Rodney said, concern in his voice.

"Aye," Carson responded. "But there's not much I can do about it just now. Once we get back to Atlantis, I can sort us both out."

Just at that moment, they heard a sound, like giant wings flapping through the air.

"What now?" Rodney said, exasperated.

"For crying out loud!" Carson exclaimed as he saw a flock of birds swoop towards them. Carson pushed Rodney to the ground, and then crouched over him protectively.

The noise the birds were making was incredibly loud, and the wind from the movement of their wings was almost hurricane force. They swooped over them twice, and then with a shriek, left as rapidly as they appeared.

Rodney struggled slightly under the weight of Carson.

"It's okay, Carson, you can move now," he said pushing at his friend.

Carson rolled away, groaning, clutching his chest in agony.

"Carson," Rodney said, real fear in his voice.

He pulled himself closer to Carson, and rolled him over. Carson's face was white, and there was a bluish tinge round his mouth. His face was screwed up in agony as he clutched at his chest.


	7. Answers or Questions

Elizabeth walked into the Infirmary, with Zelenka at her side. The team were being given a medical check after getting back from their failed mission. Elizabeth almost expected to hear Carson's soft brogue delivering his usual lecture, but of course, he wasn't there.

Instead, one of the other doctors was having to deal with Sheppard and the others. John was sitting up on one of the beds, squinting as the doctor shone the penlight into his eyes.

"If you stopped squinting, Colonel," the doctor said. "It would be much easier to check you over."

The doctor sighed, and Elizabeth hid a smile. Carson normally dealt with the more awkward patients on Atlantis himself. The other doctors generally tried to avoid dealing with John and Rodney in particular.

"Are you alright?" she asked as the doctor finished checking John over.

"I'm fine," he said. "I just had a slight argument with the central console. But you should see the state it's in."

Elizabeth obliged with a smile. "But you couldn't land on the planet?"

"There seemed to be a giant force field round it, stopping us from getting there," Lorne reported.

"I'm not really surprised," Elizabeth said. John gave her a questioning look.

"Radek found information on the planet in the Ancient's database," she responded to the look, turning to draw Radek forward.

"It seems that the Ancients had found problems with this planet. The put a marker on it in the database, like a warning beacon," Radek explained.

"What sort of warning?" John asked, feeling a sense of fear for both Rodney and Carson.

"We're still trying to translate it accurately," Elizabeth confirmed. "But it seems as if they faced the same problems as we did."

"How did they get their people off the planet?" Teyla asked.

Elizabeth turned and exchanged a glance with Radek. "They didn't," she replied.

OoOoO

Rodney scrambled over to Carson.

"Oh God, Carson," he said, his voice rising with fear. "Are you having a heart attack? Don't die on me. Elizabeth will kill me if you die. Think what Sheppard will say if you come back dead. Carson!"

Rodney suddenly realised the noise he heard from Carson had switched from groans to a gentle chuckle.

"Don't worry, Rodney," he said, gasping slightly as he spoke. "I'm not dead yet. It's not a heart attack. Just a punctured lung, I think."

"A punctured lung!" Rodney's voice went up an octave again. "But that can kill you. Dear God, Carson, do I need to do something? Do I need to stick a needle in you? But we don't have any needles. I can improvise. I can find something."

"Rodney," Carson said as soothingly as he could. "You don't need to do anything. I won't say I'm alright. That would be lying. But I'm not going to die on you. Not just yet. Help me to sit up."

Rodney gently helped Carson to sit up. The doctor sighed slightly as he made it upright. He wasn't lying to Rodney, but he wasn't quite as well as he had told Rodney. His broken ribs had obviously pierced his lung. The only good part about it was that it was just a minor tear, at present. However, if he wasn't careful, it could get worse. And then he would need urgent medical attention.

"Are you really going to be okay?" Rodney said, touching Carson's shoulder gently. It was almost as if he was scared that if he touched his friend, he would fall apart.

"Listen, Rodney," Carson replied. "A friend of mine at university punctured his lung when he was playing rugby. He played almost the whole of the second half before he came off. And he was a second row forward, so he was in the middle of things. Now he was a wee bit silly to do that, and he got a right rollicking from everyone. But if he can manage that, then I think I'll make it to the Stargate without dying on you."

"That might depend on what we encounter on the way," Rodney said, ominously.

"What do you mean?" Carson asked.

"Well, don't you think it odd all the things that have happened to us since we got here?" Rodney asked in response.

"We do seem to have had rather a lot of bad luck," Carson replied ruefully. "I feel abit like one of those rats they experiment on. They put them in a maze and they have to try to find their way out. But they keep blocking their path, and changing the maze."

"That's it!" Rodney said, snapping his fingers. "That's what's happening."

"What do you mean?" Carson asked again.

"We're in the middle of some kind of intelligence test," Rodney replied.

"A bloody dangerous one then," Carson responded.

"Just look at it," Rodney ignored him. "I ended up at the bottom of a cliff, when a bit of the said cliff gave way. That seemed like an accident, but was it? Then you encountered a man-eating goat, on a planet which had seemed devoid of wildlife just minutes earlier. We were then attacked by a flood, when there was no obvious water source nearby. And finally those birds appear like a bad version of a Hitchcock thriller."

"There does seem to be rather a lot of coincidences there," Carson admitted.

"And I find it hard to believe in that many coincidences unless they are man-made, or wraith-made or some-other-intelligent-being-made," Rodney replied.

"Some intelligent being with a very sick sense of humour," Carson said. "They aren't just experimenting. They're trying to bloody kill us."

"So what will get us out of here?" Rodney asked, half to himself, half to Carson.

"If we achieve our goal," Carson said promptly. "That's what happens with the rats. If they achieve their goal, they get a reward."

"And our goal is?" Rodney asked.

"To get to the Stargate," Carson said.

"So," Rodney said thoughtfully. "If we can make it to the Stargate, we might get to go home."

"It's worth a try," Carson said.

"Okay," Rodney said, clapping his hands together. "It might be a case of the cripple leading the infirm, but let's get going."

OoOoO

From somewhere above them, two eyes watched all they were doing, and two ears listened.

"Report, Observer," a voice said behind the being that was watching.

"They have established that this is an experiment, Lord Deviser," the Observer said.

"Interesting," the Lord Deviser said. "They are the first who have lived long enough to work that out. They must be very lucky, these beings."

"They are quite ingenious," the Observer said. "One is a medical doctor, and has dealt with their wounds; the other seems to have an enquiring mind, and is good a problem solving."

"Very interesting," the Lord Deviser said. "They might bear watching. What have you next planned to bar their way?"

"I thought opening one of the traps on their route to the Ring," the Observer said, slightly hesitantly. The Lord Deviser had the reputation of being unpredictable.

"Very good plan," the Lord Deviser answered. "It will be interesting to see how they cope with that, especially considering their injuries. It may well establish just how hardy this breed is. If they survive that, they may well be worth using for breeding purposes. Proceed, Observer."


	8. The Gate at Last

_**Thanks for all the Reviews – they have been much appreciated. There are a couple of very minor spoilers for "Inferno" and "Allies" but they aren't very detailed. Enjoy!**_

oOoOo

Carson and Rodney's progress towards the Stargate was very slow and laboured. Carson had managed to find two long sticks that could be used as crutches. This helped them both, as Rodney could move on his own, and Carson didn't have to bear his weight, risking more damage to his ribs.

It was frustrating all the same. They wanted to get to the Stargate before any more disasters disguised as experiments were met upon them. But they both knew if they tried to move any faster, they could risk injuring themselves further.

"I need to rest," Rodney said, gasping for breath. His hands were sore now with gripping his makeshift crutches. And the rest of his body ached as he compensated for his broken leg.

"Okay," Carson said, gasping as well. Although he was finding it easier not having to support Rodney, each step was still agony. And his hands stung from the rope burns.

The two men slumped to the ground and rested for a moment.

"Carson," Rodney said, turning to his friend with an anxious look on his face. "We're going to die, aren't we?"

"What makes you think that?" Carson said soothingly.

"Just the small matter that whatever we do, these evil bastards seem to be determined to put another lethal obstacle in our way," Rodney replied.

"But they haven't got us yet, and we're not that far from the 'Gate," Carson said, trying to be reasonable.

"I just feel they have something else planned for us," Rodney said, looking round to see if he could see any advancing threat. "It must be something about this Galaxy," Rodney continued. "Since I've been here my life has been on the line 326 times."

Carson tried to hide his smile. Only Rodney would keep a tally. "And of those 326 times, have you died yet?" Carson asked gently.

"Of course not," Rodney said sharply. "Or I'd hardly be here would I?"

"Exactly," Carson said, keeping his tone level. "Because you're too bloody stubborn to kill off."

Suddenly Carson noticed something. "Rodney," he said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. "I think you should move, and come towards me."

"What!" Rodney said, his voice rising in panic. He looked around him, but couldn't see what Carson was concerned about. Still, he trusted him enough to scoot over beside him.

"I think there might be a trap door, or something in the ground," Carson said, once Rodney was on a safe patch of ground. "It seemed to move slightly when you shifted your weight."

Rodney looked at Carson, fear showing in his eyes. "If I'd fallen down there, I could be dead as we speak."

"But you didn't fall, Rodney," Carson said, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Now maybe we better get to the Stargate before they do anything else to us."

With that, the two weary doctors got to their feet and started to trudge towards the 'Gate. Now they knew what to look for, they were able to avoid the traps. The people who were setting the traps might be imaginative in some ways – they did after all create a man-eating goat – but they hadn't shown much imagination in setting the traps. They all had the same clump of bracken on them, and since there wasn't much of that around, they tended to show up rather easily.

"I've spotted more than you now," Rodney said, his usual competitive edge showing up.

"Aye, Rodney," Carson said wearily. He found he was getting more breathless now. With the pain in his ribs, he was struggling to take deep breaths and it made walking more of an effort.

"Oh, come on Carson," Rodney said. "I bet you never won any games as a child."

"But at least I was picked for the teams," Carson muttered under this breath.

Eventually, they made it to the 'Gate. Carson couldn't remember when the sight of that large circle had given him more pleasure. Rodney hobbled over to the DHD and started to tap in the address for Atlantis.

"That's strange," he said.

Carson who had been sitting on a rock just beside the DHD looked up.

"What's strange?" he asked.

"It's not responding," Rodney answered. "I'll try again."

He tried again, and still it didn't work.

"I suppose that's par for the course in this planet," Carson said. "Do you think that's why no-one from Atlantis has been back to get us?"

"Very possibly," Rodney said, as he manoeuvred himself into position so he could check the internal workings of the DHD. "They may have put some kind of inhibitor into the DHD so that it won't accept any addresses."

"Can you fix it? Carson asked.

"Of course I can," Rodney responded sharply. "Who do you think I am, Radek?"

Carson just shook his head. Sometimes he envied Rodney his confidence. Other times he pitied him. On this occasion, he was just hoped Rodney's confidence was justified.

After several minutes of tinkering around, Rodney suddenly let out an exclamation, and jumped back from the DHD holding his finger.

"What have you done, Rodney?" Carson asked. "Not another broken finger nail?"

"No, thank you very much for your concern," Rodney said. "I got an electric shock off the DHD."

"Is that possible?" Carson asked.

"Well, if it wasn't before, it certainly is now!" Rodney said. "The empirical evidence is here before you." He held up the offending finger, and on the end of it, was a pink patch of skin. "But I think I might just have managed to unlock the DHD."

"Why didn't you say that before?" Carson asked.

"Your concern for your fellow man is overwhelming," Rodney said sarcastically. "Here I am with a third degree burn, and all you care about is getting home."

Carson just looked at him. Then he noticed something behind Rodney, that hadn't been there before.

"What?" said Rodney, noticing Carson's eyes straying behind him.

"I think we have company, Rodney," Carson said, a look of fear in his eyes.

Rodney scrambled round, so he was facing the same way as Carson. He saw a tall, very thin man wearing a very elaborate robe.

"Welcome," he said. "I am the Observer. I have come to take you to meet the Lord Deviser."

"But we don't want to meet any Lord Deviser-or-what-ever-he's-called," Rodney said. "We just want to make our way home."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," the Observer said.

With those words, the world around them vanished into a mist and they found themselves in a strange, dark room. In front of them was another man, very similar to the last, except his robes were even more elaborate and his hair was pure white.

"Welcome," he said. "I am the Lord Deviser."

Rodney and Carson exchanged worried glances. After all that had happened to them on this planet, they weren't sure what was going to happen next.

"You are the first people who have ever made it back to the Ring," the Lord Deviser.

"Oh, great," Rodney said, his sarcasm returning. "Do we get a prize?"

"Rodney," Carson admonished. "You must forgive my friend," he said to the Lord Deviser. "He can sometimes say inappropriate things when he is nervous."

"I say inappropriate things!" Rodney exclaimed. "You're the one who talked to the Wraith Queen about flashing!"

"Your prize is that you get to live," the Lord Deviser said.

"That sounds promising," Carson said.

"And you also get to contribute to our gene pool," the Lord Deviser continued. "We wish you to breed."

"To breed!" Rodney squawked, covering a certain part of his anatomy very quickly. Carson almost laughed. "Do you realise that my genes are very high quality, and they can't be mixed with just anyone. My DNA is superior stuff, I don't want it mixed with any inferior gene pool."

"Do not worry, Sir," the Lord Deviser said, a smile which didn't quite reach his eyes on his face. "There will be no diluting of your genes in our method of breeding."

With that, the Lord Deviser turned round to a table behind him. "However, before we can begin the breeding process, we must fix the parts of you that are damaged."

When he turned round, he had a device similar to a Goa'uld healing device in his hand. Rodney and Carson exchanged anxious glances.

"If his eyes start doing that strange glowy thing, I'm out of here," Rodney whispered to Carson.

"Aye," Carson replied. "And I'll be right behind you."

Smiling, and seemingly unaware of their remarks, the Lord Deviser ran the device over Rodney's leg. He felt a strange tingling sensation and then the pain was gone. He turned to Carson, with a look of amazement on his face.

The Lord Deviser turned to Carson, and ran the device over him, from head to toe. As it reached his ribs, Carson gasped as a brief pain stabbed his side. It was quickly followed by the ability to take deep breaths again. He turned to Rodney with a big smile on his face.

"Now, Sirs," the Lord Deviser said. "I must leave you for a while, to prepare for the breeding ceremony. I will then return and advise you of your role in this."

After he left, Rodney turned to Carson a perplexed look on his face.

"The breeding ceremony!" he said. "What the hell is that?"

"I don't know," Carson said, looking anxious. "But I get the feeling that it might not be as pleasurable as it is on Earth."


	9. Devices and Delight

_**I thought it was about time you got another cliff-hanger. Enjoy!**_

OoOoO

Elizabeth and Radek were examining the information they had found very closely when John walked into the room.

"Found anything interesting?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," Elizabeth answered. "We've found that there is a link between the planet Major Lorne and his team were on when they were attacked and the one that Rodney and Carson are on now."

"What sort of link?" John asked, coming over to them to see what they were looking at.

"We're still trying to work that out. But the Ancients definitely linked the two planets together."

"So," John said thoughtfully. "Do you think the attack on Lorne's team was a decoy, to distract us from what was happening on the other planet?"

"Either that, or a ruse to get Carson and Rodney alone on the planet," Elizabeth replied.

"But how could they be sure we'd leave those two there?" John asked.

"It may not have been specifically Carson and Rodney," Radek pointed out. "Perhaps they needed to lower the numbers of people they could do whatever they do with them with." Radek looked slightly confused, as did John and Elizabeth. "I mean, perhaps they can only deal with two people at a time, and so they had to get rid of the others."

"That makes sense," John said. "And hopefully, if we ever manage to get there, we'll be able to beat them through force of numbers."

Just then, the voice of the 'Gate Technician broke into their conversation. "Dr Weir," he said. "We've managed to establish a 'Gate to the planet on which Drs Beckett and McKay were lost."

John and Elizabeth looked at each other, a glimmer of hope at last.

"Team," John said. "Meet me at the Puddle Jumper." They had readied a Jumper for just this opportunity.

John ran to the Puddle Jumper to be met there by Ronon, Teyla and Lorne, along with members from one of the other teams. Elizabeth had followed John to the hanger.

"Be safe," she said to him. "And bring them home safely to us."

John nodded, and then ran into the Jumper.

OoOoO

Rodney sat down heavily in one of the chairs that circled the room.

"We were this close," he said, holding his fingers a centimetre apart. "If I'd had a few minutes longer, I could have dialled the 'Gate. I'd managed to unlock it."

"If you've managed to unlock it, do you think the others will be able to get to us?" Carson asked.

"How do I know," Rodney said, disconsolately. "They've probably stopped looking for us by now. And even if they do get to the planet, how will they find us? We scanned the place and didn't find any buildings or structures. How do you find a building that isn't there?"

Carson was wandering round the room, picking up some of the many artefacts that had been left lying on every available surface.

"It looks like they got things from all over the Galaxy," he said, holding up what looked like an Athosian drinking cup. And," he continued, a note of fear in his voice. "This looks Wraith."

Rodney jumped up and trotted over to where Carson was. He took the device that Carson was holding and turned it over in his hands.

"It is Wraith," he said. "How on earth did they get this?"

"That's what I'm worried about," Carson responded. "If they can do this to the Wraith, what are they going to do to us."

"Are you still worried about the breeding ceremony?" Rodney asked with a smirk.

"Aren't you?" Carson asked. "I'd like to have children some day, but no' by being forced to by some Lord Revolver."

"Lord Deviser," Rodney corrected. "Though your suggestion might be more accurate. He does seem a bit trigger-happy."

Carson picked up another artefact and it lit up.

"What the . . ." he said, jumping back and dropping the device back on the table.

Rodney picked it up, but it didn't do anything. "It must be an Ancient device," he said, looking at it closely.

"But you've got the ancient gene too," Carson pointed out.

"Yes, but not all these devices work with it. Some only respond to people who have the gene naturally, like you," Rodney pointed out.

"Don't remind me," Carson said mournfully.

"So what does this do?" Rodney asked.

"You're the technical wizard," Carson pointed out.

"Yes," Rodney admitted. "But I can't make it do anything, can I?" he pointed out, sounding slightly aggrieved.

Carson gingerly picked up the device again, and it lit up on cue. He looked at the screen, puzzling over the display. It reminded him of the life-signs detector, but the visuals on the screen were slightly different. Rodney looked over his shoulder, trying to work out what was going on. Carson moved the device around. Certain of the artefacts in the room seemed to activate the device.

"I think it's meant to identify what devices are Ancient," Rodney said, gleefully. "Come on, Carson, let's try this one."

With a sigh Carson followed Rodney over to another artefact, and dutifully picked it up.

OoOoO

The Observer was busily working on the Ring, trying to repair the damage Rodney had caused. He worked furiously, concerned about what the Lord Deviser might say. They could only cope with two Other Worlders on the planet at any one time. They didn't have the facilities for any more. And if he didn't fix the lock on the Ring, anyone could come through before they had finished with the two they had at present.

Suddenly, just as he'd almost got the lock back in place, the Ring sprung into life. The Observer jumped up and ran to hide in some nearby bushes. As he watched a strange ship came through the Ring. It fitted through it perfectly. It was almost as if it had been made for it.

A big smile spread over the Observer's face. Maybe all was not lost. The Lord Deviser could be rather violent when he was angry. And he would be angry with the Observer for not fixing the Ring in time. But if the Observer could offer him this ship, then he might be spared the beatings he had received in the past.

OoOoO

John brought the Jumper into land, and checked the scanner to see if they could detect anything.

"The scanners still show no-one is here," John said exasperated.

"Is it possible they have taken Dr Beckett and Dr McKay elsewhere?" Teyla asked.

"It's possible," John said with a frown. "Hell, anything's possible. This whole planet gives me the creeps."

"Where should we start?" Lorne asked from the back of the Jumper.

"Well," John said, drawing the word out to give himself time to think. "The best place to start is probably where we left Rodney and Carson. We can maybe track them from there."

Lorne nodded, and the teams silently prepared themselves for the walk to the cliff.

"Now," John said. "Be careful at all times. This planet seems to be dangerous to the health of anyone who comes here. The Ancients even avoided it. Expect the unexpected, and the downright strange. And if you see anything unusual, anything at all, shout."

He looked round them all, and they all nodded.

"Okay," he said. "Let's go."

OoOoO

Carson was getting tired. Rodney was dancing round the room like a child on Christmas morning, picking up all the ancient devices and handing them to Carson. So far, none of them had proved to be of any use for their current predicament. They mostly seemed to be scanners or medical devices. They would be of great use on Atlantis, but didn't really help them now.

"Here's another one," Rodney said, his enthusiasm seemingly undiminished.

"Rodney," Carson said, wearily. "Is there any point to this? None of these have proved to be of any use at all, and my head aches from all this."

"Leave the headache excuse for the breeding ceremony," Rodney said, with a grin. "Now try this one."

Carson groaned, both at the joke and at what Rodney was asking him to do. But he took the device anyway.

Suddenly, the world around him started spinning in a kaleidoscope of colours. The spinning got faster and faster until the world seemed to explode in rainbow of light, leaving only darkness.

The last thing Carson heard before he slipped into unconsciousness was Rodney calling his name, his voice full of fear.


	10. Breeding Pools

**_Okay – so I like cliff-hangers. Thanks for all the reviews, it has been very encouraging. Enjoy!_**

OoOoO

As they approached the spot where they had left Carson and Rodney, John listened intently to see if he could hear anything. Although, commonsense told him, that the likelihood of Carson and Rodney still being there was very remote, there was still a vague hope lingering in the back of his mind. The life-sign detectors hadn't shown anything up, but on this strange planet, who knew how accurate they were.

However, the nearer he got to the spot, the more the hope faded. He knew he should be able to hear Rodney's voice by now. It was impossible for Rodney to be quiet for that length of time. Or at the very least, he should be able to hear Carson's soft brogue.

As John had feared, when they reached the spot, there was no sign of Carson or Rodney. As they checked out the site, Ronon caught sight of a dark patch near the top of the cliff.

"It's blood!" He said, looking at John.

"Rodney wasn't bleeding when we left?" he asked the others. Both Ronon and Teyla shook their heads.

"Crap," he said succinctly. "That's what I thought."

"There are tracks from some kind of animal here," Ronon said, further examining the site.

"What kind of animal?" Teyla asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Ronon replied. "I've never seen anything like it before. It looks about the size of a small deer or goat, but it seems to have claws."

"This planet seems to throw up new surprises all the time," Lorne said.

"And none of them nice," John replied.

"So what do we do now?" Ronon asked.

"Can you track them, to see where they went from here?" John asked Ronon. The large man gave him a sardonic look.

"Okay," John said holding up his hands. "Stupid question."

"It's really quite easy," Ronon said. "It looks like someone, probably McKay, was using crutches or something similar. And the land here is very dry."

"Okay, team," John said, raising his voice slightly. "Let's see where this takes us."

OoOoO

When Carson woke up, he was confronted by a very worried pair of blue eyes.

"Thank God, Carson," Rodney said, the relief evident in his voice as well as his words. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure," Carson replied, thoughtfully. "Everything went a wee bit strange for a moment, and then I lost consciousness. The next thing I know, you're shaking me awake."

"Very odd," Rodney said, his curiosity now engaged. "You don't feel any different now?"

"No," Carson replied. "I feel fine, or I will do, once we get out of here."

Before Rodney could interrogate Carson further, the door opened and the Lord Deviser appeared.

"Well now, Sirs," he said. "Everything has now been prepared for the breeding ceremony. Please follow me."

For all his polite words, it was obvious that this was an order, not a request. Carson and Rodney exchanged anxious glances.

They followed the Lord Deviser down a long hallway into another cluttered room.

"This is where you will prepare for the breeding ceremony," the Lord Deviser said.

However, neither man had heard what he said. Their attention was focused solely on a large machine in the middle of the room. It looked like one of the machines you used to suck up leaves in the fall. There was a long tube, and at the end of it, there was a container to collect whatever it was designed to collect.

"No way!" Rodney said. "You're joking, right? There's no way you're going to attach me to that monstrosity. I have my dignity, I have my pride. That thing could do permanent damage! This is a joke. You got some camera hidden away somewhere. Haven't you? Who put you up to this? This is beyond a joke. It's just not fair. You can't do this to me!" Rodney was almost crying by the end of his speech.

Carson had been equally alarmed by the sight of the machine. But his fear had turned to amusement as he listened to Rodney.

The Lord Deviser looked on bemused. His puzzled gaze fell on Rodney.

"I'm sorry, Sir," he said. "I'm not sure what has alarmed you. Nothing in here is used as part of the breeding ceremony. I've simply brought you here to change into the garments you're required to where the ceremony."

"And that thing?" Rodney asked, pointing at the machine in question.

"That?" Lord Deviser said, looking even more puzzled. "Why, we use that to clear the blossom from the trees when they threaten to block the breeding pools."

Carson couldn't contain his laughter any longer. It was part amusement, and also part relief. But Rodney didn't share the joke. He looked aggrieved and yet embarrassed at the same time.

"Well," he said, trying to save face. "That's just as well."

"Now, Sirs," the Lord Deviser said. "You must prepare yourselves for the breeding ceremony. The first thing you must do is to dress appropriately. These are the clothes that you should wear."

He handed Rodney and Carson a bundle of clothes each.

"Once you are ready, and properly attired, please let me know and I will return and take you to the breeding pools."

Rodney looked at the bundle of clothes he had received. The majority of the bundle was taken up by a long robe. It was made of a silk-like material, and was multicoloured. The only other item in the bundle was a pair of swim shorts.

Rodney looked Carson in horror.

"They want us to wear these?" he asked. "And there's no way I'm going to get undressed in front of you."

"Rodney, I've seen you naked before," Carson reminded him. "It happens a lot to doctors. You could cause an occupational hazard, certainly in your case."

"That's all very well," Rodney replied. "But in the other occasions, I've been unconscious. And, I certainly don't want to see you naked or to see you see me naked."

"Okay, Rodney," Carson said patiently, having just about followed Rodney's logic. "You change over there, behind at screen. And I'll change here. That way we should both survive with our psyches intact."

OoOoO

Ronon led to the others back to the Stargate.

"Their trail stops here," he said, still examining the ground carefully.

"Do you think they managed to get off the planet themselves?" Teyla asked.

"Or got lost somewhere when the gate malfunctioned," Lorne suggested.

"No!" John replied quickly, too quickly.

"I found something here," Ronon's voice interrupted their discussion. "Someone has tried to cover the tracks here, but the people went this way. And one of them was on crutches."

With a sense of relief, the team followed Ronon again, as he led them away from the 'Gate.

Hiding in the bushes, the Observer watched them in silence and in fear. The Lord Deviser was going to be very angry, and it was the Observer who would suffer with his anger. The Observer knew he had to do something, something that would stop them reaching the others. He studied the group for a moment, trying to see who the weakest link might be. His eyes fell on the woman. She was smaller than the others, and, from what he had been told, women were generally weaker than men. He wasn't sure about that himself, as he'd never met a woman before.

Acting out of fear in desperation, he leapt out at the group, grabbing Teyla. His plans had worked so far, but now they started to go wrong. The woman was stronger than she looked. And, her elbow jerked back into his middle, and her hand caught him across the bridge of his nose. As the Observer felt his knees in pain, the rest of the group looked at him, with an element of amusement.

"You could just have said 'hello', Teyla," John said, trying not to laugh. The Observer's attempt ambush them had been so ineffectual, it was almost amusing.

"Please don't kill me," the Observer said looking at them from his knees.

"Why would I kill you?" John asked.

"The Lord Deviser said all aliens will kill, if we don't catch them first."

"The Lord Deviser said that, did he?" John asked. "Then I think I'll just have to have a word with him."

"Oh no!" the Observer said anxiously. "The Lord Deviser doesn't like to be disturbed during the breeding ceremony." His hands through to his mouth as he realised he said too much.

The team looked at each other not sure if they really wanted to know all what the 'breeding ceremony' actually was. Or whether it involved Rodney and Carson.

"Well," John said, putting a hand on the Observer's shoulder. "Why don't you just tell us where we might find the Lord Deviser, and I promise we won't tell him who told us where to find him."

John glanced up and exchanged an amused look with Ronon. The Observer made rather a pitiful figure, kneeling there with blood running down from his nose. He was shivering with fear, and generally seemed unsure how to react in another's company.

The Observer looked up the John. "You'd do that for me?" he asked.

"Of course," John replied. "If you help us, we'll help you."

"You will?" the Observer asked, a note of amazement in his voice. "Then I'll show you how to get there." The poor man seemed almost over eager to please.

OoOoO

Once both Rodney and Carson were changed, they sat waiting for the Lord Deviser to return. They were both slightly on edge, unsure of what they were about to face. Rodney kept fidgeting with one of the devices that was on the table in front of him. It didn't react to his touch, and nothing he did seemed to turn it on. But he kept fidgeting with it anyway.

Carson looked more outwardly calm, but his eyes betrayed the anxiety he felt. He was fidgeting with the belt of the robe, and his fingers were constantly tapping on you arm of the chair.

"Carson, will you stop that!" Rodney said.

"Stop what?" Carson asked.

"That constant tapping," Rodney replied. "Here, try this," Rodney added, tossing the device he was holding to Carson.

In Carson's hand the device lit up, and he glanced down at the display. It seemed to be some kind of medical device, obviously Ancient in design, but he never seen anything like it before.

Before Carson could examine it further, the door to the room opened, and the Lord Deviser came in.

"Sirs," he said. "Please follow me. You're now ready for the breeding pool."

Exchanging anxious glances, Carson and Rodney got up and followed the man out of the room. He led them to a beautiful, sheltered spot. A waterfall framed the scene, and a soothing sound relaxed the men. Carson was aware of a strange but not unpleasant smell. He couldn't quite place the aroma, but it was vaguely familiar.

"Please, Sirs," the Lord Deviser said. "Enter the pool." Again, the words were polite, but there was no denying that it was an order. Both men took off their robes, and entered the pools, gingerly. Carson enjoyed the sensation of the warm water lapping his body. He relaxed into the water, letting it support his body. The strange smell was coming from the water and seemed to help in the feeling of relaxation.

Carson glanced over at Rodney and all sense of relaxation vanished. His friend was struggling in the water. Rodney's panic stricken eyes reached out to Carson, who rushed over to his side.

"What's wrong, Rodney?" he asked, trying to support Rodney's thrashing body in the water. The scientist pointed to his throat.

"Can't breathe," he whispered through a closing throat.

Suddenly, Carson realised that the underlying aroma rising from the water was that of lemon. And Rodney was allergic to lemon.

Jumping out of the water, Carson dragged Rodney after him. He turned to the Lord Deviser. "He's in anaphylactic shock. I need something to reduce the reaction. Move, man, before he dies."


	11. The Lord Dissolver

_**Now that I've reached the final chapter – I'd like to thank you all again for your support while I've been writing this. The Reviews have been very helpful, and fun to read. Well, I hope you enjoy this last instalment**_

oOoOo

The Lord Deviser just stood there in horror, looking at Rodney and Carson.

"Go and check his clothes, he might have been carrying medication," Carson said to the Lord Deviser. "Move, now!"

Carson's tone was very much that of the Chief Medical Officer, and the Lord Deviser reacted in the same way as his staff did in the Infirmary. He did just what he was told.

Carson was concerned, however, that it would be too late. Rodney was barely breathing. Carson went over the check the robes to see if Rodney had brought his meds with him. He knew how obsessive the scientist was about such things, and there was just the chance he might have put his epi-pen in his robe.

He checked the first robe, and found nothing. He thought he better check the other one. The two robes were identical, and he might have picked up the wrong one. But the other one was his own robe. In his pocket was the device he had picked up just before the Lord Deviser had called them through. He had just put it in his pocket because there hadn't really been time to put it back.

He went over to Rodney, kneeling beside his friend, looking at him in frustration. There was nothing worse for a doctor to know that he could cure someone, but for that cure to be out of reach.

As he knelt down, he felt the device he was still holding activate. He could feel a slight buzzing in his hand. He looked down at it, in curiosity. The panel had lit up again, and it seemed to be acting much like the Ancient scanners Carson used on Atlantis. He saw readout of Rodney's body, with the places affected by his allergic reaction highlighted in red.

As Carson watched, the device continued show Rodney's body, but the areas of inflammation which showed up red were being obscured by a mist. Carson looked down at Rodney's actual body, but there was no mist there. He glanced back at the device as the mist started to clear. As it cleared, it seemed to take the inflammation away with it. The scanner showed Rodney's body as being healed, being whole.

Carson glanced down at his friend, almost in disbelief. Rodney's eyes fluttered open.

"Carson?" he said, slightly croakily. "Am I dead?"

"I bloody well hope not," Carson replied, his voice rough with relief. "That would mean that I'm dead too."

Just at that moment the Lord Deviser came back. "I brought the healing device," he said, then stopped short when he realised that Rodney was awake and seemed to be recovered.

"I thought you said your friend was dying," he said turning to Carson. "You lied to me. Why did you want me out of this area? What are you plotting?" He turned to face the two men, and drew a gun from the folds of his cloak. "I do not countenance disobedience. I aided you because it suited my purposes to have you both alive. But your survival is of no significance if it threatens my own. Tell me what you have done."

"We're not plotting anything," Carson said, moving between Rodney and the Lord Deviser. "I used this device I found in the room we were in before. It seems to be some kind of Ancient healing device, much like the goa'uld one you use. Look, there's no need to kill us. We've gone alone with everything you've asked us to do so far."

The Lord Deviser still looked at him suspiciously. "Why should I trust you?" he responded. "All aliens are evil. They only use I have for them is to use their genes to feed the breeding pools. The breeding pools allow me to live. They feed me. If they don't get fresh genes, then they fade, and I fade too. But your genes have already mixed with the pool. They will sustain me for a while longer. Why should I keep you alive now? Your presence is now a threat to me?"

With that, he raised the gun, pointing it directly at Carson's chest.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," a voice said from over under the trees. Colonel John Sheppard stepped out, his P90 raised. Ronon, Teyla and Lorne were just behind him, their weapons at the ready too.

A wave of relief swept over both Carson and Rodney.

"About time too," Rodney said from behind Carson, his voice still sounding slightly throaty. "Here we are, having to save ourselves while you're gallivanting half way round the galaxy."

"You're welcome, Rodney," John said, with just a hint of irony.

"Now, Mr Lord Deviser, or what-ever-your-name-is, I suggest you put that gun down very slowly, and step away from it."

"How did you get here?" the Lord Deviser asked, ignoring John's order. "This place is hidden. Only those who know how to find it, can find it. Ah, the Observer. That snivelling little rat. He showed you how to get here. I'm going to kill him this time."

"That's what you think," Ronon muttered.

"Now, just do what I asked," John reiterated. "And no-one will get hurt."

The Lord Deviser, with great reluctance, throw the gun on the ground and took and step back. He glanced over at Carson and Rodney, a look of fear and hatred intermingled.

"And now what?" the Lord Deviser asked, his voice rising in fear. "Now you will take away everything I've ever owned. All my toys, my gadgets. You'll lock me up in some dark, dank prison. And you'll leave me to rot with the vermin."

"He's obviously been reading the wrong sort of novel, the bad ones," John said, under his breath.

"I'm sorry, My Lord," the Observer suddenly appeared from nowhere. He was snivelling. That was the only word for it. "They made me do it. They said they would kill me and cut me up into little pieces if I didn't help them."

"I must have missed the bit when we said that," John said in an aside to Teyla. She smiled her reply.

"Please, My Lord," the Observer continued, falling on his knees in front of the Lord Deviser, grabbing at his robes. "I beg your forgiveness. Please don't hurt me."

"He reminds me of Gollum, from Lord of the Rings," Rodney murmured to Carson.

"Aye," Carson replied. "And I suspect he is just as trustworthy."

"Please My Lord," the Observer carried on his rather pathetic display. "Please let me still serve you in any way I can." He reached up to the Lord Deviser, clutching at the other man's hands.

"You have served me well," the Lord Deviser said, turning towards Carson and Rodney, his gun suddenly back in his hands.

"Crap!" John said, succinctly. "Drop the gun, again, and we won't hurt you."

"Oh, I don't think so," the Lord Deviser answered. "I'm not designed to be a prisoner."

With those words, he looked down at the Observer, then looked up at Carson and Rodney. He raised the gun, and fired once. Carson fell backwards, blood gushing from his side. In the moment of chaos that followed, the Lord Deviser hit a switch and dived into the breeding pool.

Rodney and Teyla both raced to Carson's side, while John and Ronon went towards the breeding pool. Lorne grabbed the Observer and held him firmly in his grip.

As John and Ronon watched, horrified, the Lord Deviser seemed to disintegrate before their eyes. It was as if he was been worn away by the pool. John went to reach down to help him.

"Don't!" the Observer called out sharply. "The pool is absorbing his genes, all those genes he has gained from others. Soon he will be no more. If you put your hand in there, it will dissolve you too."

"But why didn't it do that to us?" Rodney asked from Carson's side.

"It was set to a low setting when you were there, but the Lord Deviser set it to the highest setting. He did not want to live the life of a prisoner."

"Carson," Teyla said gently, trying to roll the doctor over onto his back.

The doctor allowed himself to be moved, but groaned as his back hit the ground. He was clutching his side and the blood was seeping out between his fingers.

"Let me see, Carson," Teyla said, trying to ease his hand away from his side.

"It's no good, lass," Carson said sorrowfully. "It's too late."

"No!" Teyla said in alarm. "Don't say that Carson."

"We can use the healing device," Rodney said, his alarm equal to Teyla's. "Don't give up yet, Carson. We can save you."

"It's no' me, you daft bugger," Carson said, chuckling. "It's the device."

He held up the healing device which had still been in his hand when he was shot. It had taken the brunt of the impact and was now a mangled wreck.

Rodney laughed, almost hysterically, in relief. "I thought you were dying," he said, through his laugh. "Don't do that to me again."

"Are you really well?" Teyla asked him, a gentle hand on his arm offering comfort.

"Aye, lass," Carson replied. "Oh, the bullet nicked my side, all right. But it's just a flesh wound. Bleeds a lot and hurts like hell, but not serious. I was just annoyed that this bloody machine which heals people got broken."

"That 'bloody machine' saved your life, Doc," John pointed out.

"Aye," Carson replied. "I suppose it did. But I was thinking of all those other lives it might save," the doctor added, with a sigh.

"What do you want to do with this one?" Lorne asked, nodding towards the Observer.

"Take him back to Atlantis, I guess," John replied. "He doesn't seem entirely reliable, and this planet has way too many traps on it to risk leaving him here."

"There are hundreds, literally hundreds of devices here," Rodney said, enthusiastically. "It could take years to just examine them and catalogue them. Not just Ancient devices but Wraith too, and some others that we couldn't work out where there from. I think it would be worth having people check them out. We might even find another Ancient healing device like the one Carson used as a shield."

"I could help you with that, Sirs," the Observer said ingratiatingly. "I have served the Lord Deviser for years and I know many of the devices and their uses."

"I don't see the harm in letting him do that," John said, shrugging. "As long as he is under guard at all times. But first things first, I think we should get you two back to Atlantis."

"I expect the place is in chaos without me," Rodney said, smugly.

"Of course, Rodney," John replied. "The last I heard, the ZPM was threatening to go on strike unless you returned within the week. Elizabeth was in serious negotiations with it."

The others laughed as Rodney sniffed. "You may mock, Colonel," Rodney replied. "But just you wait until the next crisis. You won't be laughing then."

"That is true, Rodney," Teyla said, patting his shoulder. "You have saved us so often, we take your abilities for granted."

"See," Rodney said, pointing at Teyla. "At least someone appreciates my genius."

"Yes, Rodney," came the chorused reply, as they started back towards the 'Gate and then home, to Atlantis.


End file.
